With Christmas approaching, advertising and public relations executives for major High Street retailers have called for the reanimation of easy-listening legend Bing Crosby.  The demand comes after warnings from music industry sources that virgin uses of cheerful Crosby songs celebrating Christmas may be depleted by 2012.

“The magic of Crosby’s lazy, easy sound really is a part of Christmas advertising.  Without it, it is inconceivable that stores could sell men’s grooming and perfume sets, novelty slippers and tree decorations.  And it’s vital that one song equals one brand, or we’re screwed.” said Charles Avery, president of the Irish Advertisers and Marketers Alliance.

Debbie Smith, of the Consumer Retail Foundation, a not-for profit benevolent society for businesses reliant on seasonal spending, said the Crosbie flavour is an important psychological trigger for shoppers, and that re-using the entertainer’s music for new brands could stimulate confusion and terror in the consumer.

“Asda have started using ‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas’, and that’s okay since it was only used by some regional retailers last year.  But the way things are going, stores may soon be forced to resort to the David Bowie collaboration on “Little Drummer Boy”.  Christ alone knows what will happen if we have to resort to Meli Kalikimaka.”

Avery concluded the press conference with a demand to voodoo practitioners everywhere to work on the task of brining Crosby back to terrifying, zombie-like existence.

“Three more years of recording easy-going songs about Snowmen, Christmas and the joy of the family unit, and we can survive as an industry until 2025, when we estimate Amy Winehouse will release her first Christmas Album.”