A Bulwer-Lytton Prize Entry

The previously discarded coffee he drank through his disgustingly unkempt moustache on the filthy mattress under the railway bridge was not Lavazza, but some inferior brand which, in between his tormented visions of vomiting clowns, he fancied could do with a spoonful...

Another email from We the Citizens, translated

Dear Ben, I hope this finds you well. It’s been a busy time since I last wrote to you. You may have noticed three vague, vacuous articles that kept news out of the the Irish Times last week. The first article, for what it was worth, focused on a very prominent theme...
Plan B is scarcely a plan at all.

Plan B is scarcely a plan at all.

To read this entry, please ensure that: you appreciate literally hundreds of mixed metaphors you know who made your shoes you aren’t currently interested in giving me a job In 2009, during what was a worldwide recession (Gordon was right about that), the UK had...
Pies banned in Westminster Precincts

Pies banned in Westminster Precincts

The Serjeant at Arms has banned all pies from Westminster’s precincts with immediate effect, in an effort to avoid a repeat of yesterday’s attempted attack on mild mannered media tycoon Rupert Murdoch.  The move has sent shockwaves through the subsidised...