Later this month, the Government will announce, at great taxpayer expense, that the recession is easing, that the world will be a better place with Gordon Brown continuing to pour his blessings on the British people.

The danger is, of course, that the British people, any of them, actually believe  the crap Labour will undoubtedly spew on Jeff Randall, Newsnight and, god save us, GMTV.  Most of them won’t, but some of the more prone to mouthbreathing will be taken in by the idea that Gordon Brown, rather than actually playing his dreadful part in actually accelerating the financial catastrophe which late affected our nation, in some way did something to make it less egregious.  Some cretinous fools out there will believe that Gordon Brown is someone to be thanked rather than disparaged in the wake of our misfortune.

And you can hear the toadying now, being put together by dreadful people in dreadful apartments, suggesting that Gordon Brown had led the world out of recession and that the world looks to the accursed son of the manse for direction and support in matters financial.

We need to get ready for the inevitable onslaught of nonsense about to be preached by New Labour and its sycophants, in order to neutralise perhaps the only bit of news the current junta can grasp onto to protect itself from the Cam-a-geddon.

We could start by pointing out that, of all his promises to abolish boom and bust, he did very well on half of that.  Not so good with the other.

We could follow that up by reminding him of his own language, and the language of his colleagues and predecessors.  He refers to management of the finances of the country as ‘intricate, delicate and involved work’.  He added that it was ‘no job for a novice’.  Tony Blair said he had ‘a great clunking fist’.  John Hutton said he’d be an absolute effing disaster’.  Douglas Alexander said something like ‘we’ve worked with him for years and nobody can stand him’.  His coronation posters said ‘No Flash, just Gordon’.  And so, in fact, it has turned out.  Each statement true.

The Brown Bottom

We could point out that Gordon Brown gives his name to something known as the ‘Brown Bottom’, a collapse in the price of gold, occasioned by his bizarre decision to inform the market in advance of his intention to sell it, thereby ensuring an historic low in the price of the shiny commodity just in time for him to go ahead with the sale.   This decision, detailed here in glorious detail, is just about as stupid as can be imagined from someone who claimed to have saved the world.  For those of you suspicious of links, here’s a spoiler:

The advance notice of the substantial sales drove the price of gold down by 10% by the time of the first auction on 6 July 1999. With many gold traders shorting, gold reached a low point of US$252.80 on 20 July.  Gold prices remained relatively low until 2001, when the price began consistently rising in a protracted bull market. By 2007, the price of gold had reached US$675, and the loss to the UK taxpayer was estimated at more the £2 billion, as the euros bought with the proceeds had also risen in value.

So the next time some Labour gobshite starts quoting tractor production statistics at you, give them that one as change.