- What say you we all write to Chris Huhne pretending to be the person who hacked his phone? #huhnting #
- Chris Huhne is now desperate to find out who hacked his phone. If it was you, tell them I did it. #huhnting #
- #huhnetunes Scandalous #
- #huhnetunes Get The Point #
- #huhnetunes Paradise by the Dashboard Light #
- #huhnetunes Everything I Do Is Driven By You #
- #huhnetunes Drive My Car #
- #huhnetunes Careless Whisper #
- #huhnetunes Breaking The Law #
- #huhnetunes "Oh you send me, driving in the rush hour" #
- BLOGPOST: Ireland poised for historic apology http://tinyurl.com/6jau5o8 #
- Espresso then milk-scrambled eggs and charred asparagus for breakfast. #
- Fianna Fáil – collecting at catholic masses today and a total utter bollocks of a political party. Hateful gobshites. #horrid #
- New blog posting, Ireland set to apologise to Queen for screwups since independence – http://tinyurl.com/6jau5o8 #
- Right, Ireland. Over the delusion yet? They were never going to win. At least our objective for Blue was to have them do better than last #
- She just said 'Look Away Now' and then said the result about 2 seconds later. Fuck's sake, BBC News. @BBCNews #
- #rallyagainstdebt now on BBC News, with some brilliant close in footage to make it look bigger. I do that with a camera sometimes. #
- That result is all well and good, but FIFA are still insisting next year's #Eurovision will take place in Russia. #
- Eric will be somewhat popular, but nothing to write home about. #eurovision #
- Latvia's vote gives UK the hundred! Much better than last time! #
- Ireland gives UK one point per billion of the UK bailout money it intends to spend on whiskey. #eurovision #
- Israel phoning Germany auf Deutsch. Very good. #eurovision #
- Travelocity can't even find Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan. #eurovision #
- How the fuck do I get to Azerbaijan for next year's final? From Dublin? #
- THIS IS WHY QUALIFIED MAJORITY VOTING IS WRONG. #NO2EU #eurovision #
- We let a welshwoman give our votes? EH? #eurovision #
- Iceland voting for Denmark would be as ridiculous as Ireland voting for the UK. #eurovision #
- OK Ireland. Give us 12 points and we'll call off the State Visit. #eurovision #
- Need more vodka. #eurovision #
- Armenian entry was robbed. BOOM BOOM CHUKKA CHUKKA! #eurovision #
- UK coming in fourth… #eurovision #
- The shock of Cyprus voting 12 pts for Greece… What a surprise! #eurovision #
- Holy shit, we might actually come in somewhere respectable. #eurovision #
- UK outperforming Ireland right now. #eurovision #voting #
- Glory be! Looks like Huhne's been caught being a Hoon. http://t.co/UsAlRQZ #
- This is the German Riverdance. And it's better than Riverdance by a country mile. #eurovision #
- Eurovision actually has a hand-cranked calculator for calculating ranks of numbers. I can do it here with a spreadsheet in seconds. #
- If Ireland wins #eurovision HM The Queen will give them the trophy personally next Tuesday, in the Garden of Remembrance. #
- Stop voting for Ireland. My TV Licence money goes thinly enough on shit Irish TV. (Apart from the excellent shows made by @BrighidBB) #
- Moldova, Slovenia and that's it. Or you're cut. #
- Someone somewhere is responsible for the adenoidal pronunciation of English by our European cousins. British Council, I'm pointing at you! #
- Georgia? Why is there a US state in #eurovision ? #
- Why is my mum singing for Serbia in #eurovision #
- How do I petition the BBC to have BBC Radio Ulster / Foyle Gerry Anderson to be the Commentary the @BBCEurovision, as a red button option? #
- Right, Vodka it is. Zubrowka, of course. The Zoladkowska last night was a bad idea. #eurovision #
- Waiting for the sand artist to do a big cock and a LOL. #eurovision #
- The only differences between Ireland and Iceland are one letter and the fact Iceland just stole our money, we lent it to Ireland. #
- The Slovenian entry was clearly the best. But Slovenia will not win, because this is a political competition. #
- Romanian entry is not so bad. Even if they do have a geordie as a singer. #eurovision #
- Germany singing in English, thanks to UK, Russia, USA and Belgian Armed Forces. #eurovision #
- I need to visit Moldova. This reminds me of an awesome David Byrne concert I went to. #Incredible #Eurovision #
- I am voting for Moldova. #eurovision #
- Graham Norton trying to make it less appalling than it is. Blue were poor. #eurovision #
- An also-ran song. Nothing to recommend it. 24 bar structure is a bad decision. #eurovision #
- Well, that fucked that. Blue balls. If we'd just field a band like Take That we'd nail it. #eurovision #
- #eurovision COME ON BLUE! Britain Expects! God Save the Queen! #
- Do you reckon Terry Wogan has locked himself in a cupboard at home with a ladle as a pretend mic doing commentary on this? #eurovision #
- I'm pretty neutral on the Swiss entry. There, got there before you, shit humour merchants. #eurovision #
- Somebody left a glass of milk on the Danish singer's back without a coaster. #eurovision #
- Italian entry most listenable so far. Sounds like it was written by Billy Joel. #eurovision #
- (that was an ironic use of 'kraut' and not actually racist, BTW.) #
- Italy in Germany, I will be surprised if they haven't made an agreement with the krauts to do us over, and then renege on it. #eurovision #
- Bored by the French entry already. #eurovision #
- Time for the gut-wrenching disappointment of the French entry. #eurovision #
- According to FIFA, Russia just won #Eurovision #
- If only the Belarus entry had gotten through. I LOVE BELARUS. Not really. #eurovision #
- Expecting Russian entry to be arrested by Putin as some sort of Fonz Oligarch #eurovision #
- Someone needs to bail out the Greek music industry. #eurovision #
- Is that giant dusting those buildings? #estonia #eurovision #
- Estonia now. This is an ok song, as I remember. #eurovision #
- IS this the example the swedes want to set for young people? Smashing windows? #eurovision @bbceurovision #
- Northern Ireland results in on the Jedward Entry: http://nabidana.com/europe/tom-elliott-ni-eurovision-results/ #eurovision #
- Swedish entry is balls. Adenoidal crap. #eurovision #
- It's like watching two leprechauns on crack and shrooms. #eurovision #
- Stage lighting and visuals are excellent on the Irish entry. Great with the sound down and not looking directly at the screen. #eurovision #
- Fair to play to any Irish person not immediately going to the toilet to sit this embarrassment out. Jedward #eurovision #
- #hungary giving it some considerable effort. Singing in English as all Hungarian is unpronounceable. Shots of Unicum all round. #eurovision #
- Ooh, this woke me up a little. Hungary giving it some welly. #
- Lithuanian entry signing as she sings. Sign so far says 'rescue me from this competition'. #eurovision Great voice, not a winner. #
- Graham Norton is no Terry Wogan. WTF was the BBC thinking? SCOTT MILLS AND SARA COX FTW. #eurovision #
- Holy heck, I am actually twittering on my iPad and MacBook simultaneously. Sad or not? You decide, you're probably reading this on the bog #
- Denmark's song is pretty good, but it has as much chance of winning as I have of winning Mr Universe. #eurovision #
- #eurovision Bosnia Herzegovina now, a textbook eurovision song, by which I mean it is appalling. #
- #eurovision Finnish entry is tree-hugging hippie crap. It'll probably do well. #bbceurovision #
- Commanders In Chief can give orders to troops and are at the top of the command chain. Neither applies to HM. #
- Please, stop describing HM The Queen as Commander In Chief of the UK armed forces. She is not. #
- Obama's approval of new oil exploration in Alaska and the Gulf of Mexico now obliterates almost all the republican talking points. Clever. #
- Strawberry hand creme is a revelation. #doesmytweetlookgayinthis #
- Conservative principles dictate that a pro-government demonstration should not be well attended. Well done therefore to #rallyagainstdebt #
- ALL HAIL MIDDLE CLASS WEEKEND! http://nabidana.com/uncategorized/hail-middle-class-weekend/ #
- Ireland is a country with a history and a complex relationship with the UK. The State visit will underline that. @irishginge #
- New blog posting, All Hail Middle Class Weekend – http://tinyurl.com/3bmxwoa #
- Oh my. Helen Baxendale on the review show. My night is made. #
- Fraser Nelson worried about men 'gagging women who they sleep with'. Quite right. Snigger. #
- #ff SOUND @grantshapps @S8mB @cllrilindley @Toy_Tory @CateyMaxx @Conservatives #
- #ff political irritants 😉 @tchee @john_mcguirk @CllrTim #
- #ff politicians I have drunk with @cllrilindley @WilliamJHague @Stephen_Warke @StevenAgnew #
- #ff political lunacy @KatFletcher @viclanger @bcantillon @anngilmour #
- #ff politically respected: @quiatimet @QuintinOliver @carolannpk @lisaansell @Lord_Credo @LouiseBagshawe #
- #ff @Smurphette85 @eimearhurley @spiller2 @aislingdublin @MsJFoxy @mcgconor @scutmunkey #
- My rage against the Eurovision Machine last night cost me 8 followers, so now under the thousand again. Time to share the #ff love #
- My housemate is away, I am alone for the weekend. Just ordered the single biggest ever delivery of cleaning products. PROGRESS! #
- Tesco online ordering site does not love iPad #
- New blog posting, Slutwalks – http://tinyurl.com/3d2ypz8 #
- Once every year I make a spiciness of pizza error. Last night was it. Ouch. #
- It didn't take long for Ireland to find a national embarrassment to replace the banks and Fianna Fáil. I give you… Jedward. #gladnotirish #
- And there we end the first stage of the annual evisceration of music. #
- A number of breasts just got through to the final of #Eurovision final, in the shape of Slovenia. #
- Ukraine through. Very good, Europe. #eurovision #
- Moldova through. AWESOME. #eurovision but spirits dampen as Jedward get through. #
- Sara Cox is a revelation. What a great broadcaster. #eurovision #
- I hope the eastern bloc gets its act together to finally kill off the Jedward phenomenon. #eurovision #
- Ireland, please stop being delusional. Jedward were utterly embarrassing. #ireland #eurovision #
- Slovenia had the best song and dress. What else do we need? #
- It was good of Cheryl Cole to lend them the uniforms @bbceurovision #
- It was good of Cheryl Cole to lend them the uniforms #bbceurovision #
- I hate to say it, but this is the stand-out track tonight. Choreographer should be shot. #jedward #eurovision #
- First there were the banks, now Jedward. Well done #ireland #eurovision #
- Right, Ireland, are you ready for a greater national embarrassment than Brian Cowen? #ireland #eurovision #
- Denmark trying to out-pussy Finland. This isn't a bad song. #eurovision #
- Chrazee world. Denmark. #not bad #eurovision #
- Latvian rappers are renowned throughout the world for their delusional lack of perspective. #eurovision #catchy #
- Latvia with their backs turned to the audience in a brave show of defiance. Also ran song. #eurovision #
- Good to see the last communist dictatorship in Europe not reverting to type with a Eurovision entry called 'I Love Belarus' #eurovision #
- President Lukaschenko monitoring the band to ensure they REALLY LOVE BELARUS. #eurovision @bbceurovision #
- Romania. Again with the bloody piano. #eurovision #notbad #listenable #
- Slovenia. Oh yeah. #eurovision #
- Slovenia. Yes, yes, thank you very much. She never wore that through airport security. #eurovision #
- You would think Dana international would have had enough. This is no improvement on the glory of before #israel #eurovision #
- FYROM next. #eurovision This is pretty awesome apart from singing which is horrible. Well done absolutely-not-Greece Macedonia #
- #bulgaria meh #eurovision #
- Cyprus all had to bring their own ski boots. #cyprus #eurovision #
- Fucking hell, she'll have someone's eye out. #cyprus #eurovision #
- I ALWAYS LOVE THE CYPRIOT ENTRY. Sorry for shouting. #bbceurovision #
- Sweden adenoidally performing the tune to X Files. #eurovision #OffKey #
- #Moldova now struck off the Irish #VisaWaiver programme. #eurovision #
- #Moldova creating excitement with every note. This is their national thank you to Stalin. #eurovision #
- #ukraine doing very well. Nice song, actually. #
- Waiting for the sand artist to make a huge vagina behind the singer #eurovision #ukraine #bbceurovision #
- Ukraine have sent Yulia Timoshenko to sing? #eurovision #bbceurovision #
- I think I just came. #eurovision #
- Here comes the greatest band in history. #eurovision #bbceurovision Slovakia. #
- Whoever dressed the Belgian band should face a firing squad. #eurovision #bbceurovision #
- Dutch band 3JS stopping in the middle of the song for a schmoke and a pancake. Montage song from an 80's film. #eurovision #
- Austrian bint can sing alright. #eurovision #
- Time for Austria to camp this up. Danger of this being a good song. #austria #eurovision #bbceurovision #
- Bosnia Herzegovina have a song from the Album, but not from the single. Did Sting write this? #bbceurovision #eurovision #
- Elizabeth II is the second longest serving monarch. Long live The Queen! #
- Reading Tom Elliott in the Newsletter reinforces the view that he is irretrievably out of touch with the needs of leadership. #
- Downloaded the #Armenia entry for #eurovision clearly the greatest piece of music in the show's 43 years. #
- Eirigi promoting an 'Irish freedom camp' in the garden of remembrance. Freedom from what, precisely? #
- UUP need to withdraw from executive and begin to form an opposition. Either that or oblivion. #
- Armenia, I feel your pain. Boom Boom is easily the greatest song I have ever heard from your country. #eurovision #
- Eternal nunshine of the spotless mind #nunfilms #
- #nunfilms Cool Nunnings #
- Nun Shall Sleep #nunfilms #
- #nunfilms Nunger #
- Nun for Hire #nunfilms #
- #nunfilms The Chosen Nun #
- #nunfilms Empire of the Nun #
- #nunfilms The Opposite of Sex #
- #nunfilms The Nun-Forgiven #
- The Man With The Golden Nun #nunfilms #
- The First Wives of Christ Club #nunfilms #
- #nunfilms Pray Hard, Pray Harder, Pray Harder With A Vengeance and Pray Hard 4.0 #
- #nunfilms Nun Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest #
- And now on BBC2, a repeat showing of the cutting edge comedy show 'Saturday Night [REDACTED]' #
- 2 followers off the thousand. Sort that out as I walk from the station to work, will you? #
- Emergency diet begins today. Aiming to lose a dress size before June bank holiday so I can get into my dinner suit. #
- Nick Clegg's offer of Libdem "competence with a conscience" is a nice change from the bumbling sleepwalking since this time last year. #
- Just commented on @thejournal_ie: Boyd-Barrett becomes first TD kicked out of new Dáil – http://jrnl.ie/134336 #
- If Trinity Seanad Office was counting the Eurovision, Russia would be rejected as a country and all votes for former soviet states invalid. #
- 'Roll with the punches'. Hopefully someone will punch him #apprentice #
- #apprentice Jim from Northern Ireland is clearly not a total cock. #Jim #
- #Edward you're fired. Hopefully. #teameggandchips #apprentice #
- I don't ever buy food from people offering it to me in a shopping centre. Should I start? #apprentice #
- #edward is obviously a control freak #apprentice #teameggandchips #
- "I don't know what equipment they've got" "Then let's speculate". #TeamEggAndChips #apprentice #
- How to explain commodity pricing to the idiots on #TeamEggAndChips #apprentice #
- "You can't get soup wrong" #Apprentice #Edward #
- 'I was trained by Al Gore' will be the first lie unpicked at her Interview round. #Apprentice #Melody #
- 'Team Egg And Chips' chosen as the boys name in #apprentice #
- #apprentice plonkerhunt underway. #
- Did he say someone had to end it all? #eurovision #finland Finnish entry calling for catastrophic nuclear war. #bbceurovision #
- Rick Astley singing for Russia? #bbceurovision #eurovision #
- New blog posting, Tom Elliott gives the NI Eurovision results. – http://tinyurl.com/3u8z23q #
- #Eurovision Fans: Northern Ireland Results coming in now: http://youtu.be/hN_9r8XWPv4 #
- Somebody bring out the gimp. #Turkey #eurovision #
- ARMENIA FTW Unless someone else is better undressed. #
- Boom Boom Chukka Chukka. Awesome. Loving Armenia now. #
- I don't agree with violence as a rule, but I would not be devastated if someone would beat @PennyRed with a length of garden hose. #
- Uni should be affordable and non-discriminatory. Nothing the government is talking about today opposes that. #
- Nobody except the opportunist left can read the new HE proposals as buying degrees. Ridiculous #Labour #fail #
- Christopher Hitchens is our greatest living thinker and writer bar none. bit.ly/kiBbrq #
- Fed up of people mocking Microsoft software. 99.998% uptime on my Windows 7 box and Office 2010 is brilliant. #
- Microsoft Presser on Skype Acquisition: http://t.co/qPqc3cS #
- Microsoft to buy Skype is very sensible. Free calls between all Windows Phones… #
- #Moseley now appealing to have a 'bit of corporal' added to his appeal costs. #
- A big Tory Expat welcome to @CherylGillanMP on Twitter #
- A bet on the dogs then a shag in the bogs. @vizcomic #ukpub
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