Geraldine Dreadful MP writes to Daniel Hannan MEP

May 17, 2010 | Fake Letters |

Geraldine Dreadful MP writes to Daniel Hannan MEP

Daniel Hannan MEP
Member of the European Parliament for England South East
European Parliament,
Office WIB 05M089,
60 rue Wiertz,
B-1047 Brussels,
Belgium

Dear Mr Hannan,

I read with a mixture of disgust, anger, fear and delight your most recent missive in the hated tory Daily Telegraph, “If we lose the vote on the EU’s financial services directive, we should simply ignore it” where you suggest that if our colleagues in the European Union should vote to make us do something we don’t want, we should simply ignore them.

Well, Mr Hannan, I have conducted a straw poll in the Sickle East Working Men’s Club and amongst members of the Hammer East Irish Liberation Solidarity Knitting Group, and I have to tell you, whilst your ideas have a certain resonance, at least three people there disagreed with you.  They have asked me, as their MP (recently returned with an enhanced majority of 43,000) to ask you four pertinent questions.

  1. On the issue of the Alternative Fund Managers, how is an international worker’s co-operative utopia to be founded without them?
  2. In your article, you seem to be suggesting that the apparent objective of the EU to neuter the appalling, hated, parasitic capitalistic regime in the City of London is a bad thing.  How can this be?
  3. You seem to be using the decision of the French to ignore a directive requiring them to admit British Beef was a justification for ignoring the EU now.  But surely you see that the eating of animals is a disgusting practice which dehumanises all of us, and which needs EU legislation now to bring to an end?
  4. Can you answer the above in very simple language please?  We didn’t all go to Oxford.

Now I know you’ll probably have some sort of intellectual, educated and inherently valid way to reject the perfectly valid marxist premises of the questions Fabian, Quintin and Angry Dave, but you should know that the people of Sickle and Hammer East are not stupid.  Just because you’re from the South and had a hated elitist education does not make you better or more knowledgable than the people I represent, so I would counsel you to simply agree with our premises and admit that you are, like most tories, some sort of racist or something.

Sincerely,

Geraldine Dreadful MP