The latest book by Lord Ashcroft, former non-dom donor to the Conservative Party, has been recalled after serialization of the tome was found to exceed emissions standards for personally held gripes and axe-grinding instruments.

The book “Call Me Dave”, in which the former member of the House of Lords details all the reasons he doesn’t like Prime Minister David Cameron in between snippets of biography trawled by former journalist Isabel Oakeshott from the minds of single sources, was allegedly partially funded by David ‘David’ Davis, the former almost-nearly-could-be leader of the Conservative Party, famously defeated by Cameron in a leadership election in 2005.

Defending the book, Ashcroft did some light tweeting, cut up a DVD of “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” and went for a nap in a hammock.

Originally conceived as a self-help therapy project with crayon-friendly inside covers for people not given jobs by David Cameron, the book has more recently been presented as a ‘balanced’ biography of the Prime Minister, at least by Isabel Oakeshott.

Speaking after the failure of the emissions test, the chief regulator for revenge books said:

“Not only is there a load of fairly noxious stuff inside the book, there’s a strong whiff of hubris, sour grapes and rotten eggs.  In addition, there seems to be a weak but diminishing scent of journalistic reputation.  It’s not really fit for consumption either by humans or pigs.”