Far be it from me to take on an orthodoxy, to challenge a custom or to rail against a standard way of doing things, but sometimes, when presented with a silly convention, such as libel law or the principle that politicians ought not call one another liars, that’s exactly what we ought to do.

Because I want to make this blog a resource for my fellow tories, and because the English language is singularly adept at euphemism, I have prepared a sample of ways to describe The Snotgobbler in Chief as a liar in quasi parliamentary language. Alternatively, if someone is doing 5 Live, News 24 or World Have Your Say, see how many of these you can use before you’re cut off. This may be one for our friend Andre.

The inescapable reality is, of course, that Gordon Brown is a purveyor of porky pies, a peddlar of terminological inexactitudes, a dispenser of statements estranged from the actualité, a rum ‘un, a person whose utterances are often unacquainted with reality, a politician unconstrained by recourse to conscience, a gentleman whose pants are aflame. His utterances are often knowingly inaccurate, he is more than occasionally wittingly in error.

I hope this is helpful.