Chief Executive of BP Tony Hayward has startled critics by demanding the return of BP’s oil washed up in marshland and beaches across the American Gulf coast. Speaking at a key shareholders meeting in London, Mr. Hayward showed images of sea birds coated in the foul-smelling brown emulsified slime being leached into the Atlantic, and [...]

Question (at 10pm GMT):  Which of these locations is currently a scorching 30 degrees centigrade? Cairo, Egypt Copenhagen, Denmark Cancun, Mexico Cardiff, UK http://everytimezone.com/ They answered ‘Well, I was in Cairo once before and it was 100 degrees.’ They lost £650,000.

Dear ‘Gauleiter’ Dale, I write to you as a regular reader of your Total Politics magazine, to complain in the starkest, clearest, most sincere and least obscurantist way I know how about your recent well-publicised and disgusting interview with the hated fascist would-be dictator Nick  Griffin. Your decision to interview Nick Griffin should first of [...]

CONTENT ADVISORY: This post is political, but not party political in essence.  I have been, over the last few days involved in a discussion around the very emotive and serious issue of rape.  I’m well aware this is a satirical political blog, but my treatment of this difficult subject is anything other than satirical.  It’s [...]

I notice that, finally, consideration is being given to whether the Conservative Party should be fully invested in Northern Ireland, and what sort of interaction there should be between the party and the (inaccurately described) province.  I’ve written about this before, when I was to a large extent agreeing with Jeff Peel (full disclosure – [...]

Tuesday, 26 December 2009 4.15am Castle woken by intrusion alarm, as Lord Alderdice tries to ram-raid his way through the security cordon in a JCB.  Eventually talked down by David Forde, and was immediately tazered by angry PSNI officers.  Eventually claimed that Iain Dale had made him do it.

A very similar article to this appeared over a year ago, and I’m glad to have the opportunity to revive it, now I have readers. Apple Announces iProd march CUPERTINO, California—March 11, 2009—Apple® today introduced the all-new iProd® march, the world’s most desirable reformed christian, capable of sustained belief of its superiority over centuries.  The [...]

This week has been dominated by the Iraq Inquiry, the phoney war precursor to the 2010 General Election and continued political fallout from the apparently unstoppable vagina of scandal surrounding Iris Robinson, MP MLA. The Iraq Inquiry has begun to become interesting.  Alistair Campbell, Tony Blair’s spin doctor, was called upon to give evidence, and instead [...]

As the probability of Sinn Féin turning the screws on the DUP increases, Northern Ireland Secretary of State Shaun ‘Turncoat’ Woodward is presumably even now ordering his butler to bring him some options to protect Northern Ireland from government collapse. The arithmetic is relatively simple to follow; the DUP is curently the largest party in [...]

This may turn out to be an important and historically significant day. The Parliamentary Labour Party has been urged by former cabinet ministers Patricia Hewitt and Geoff Hoon to force a secret ballot on Gordon Brown’s leadership. We’re faced with the tantalising possibility that the Prime Minister may resign this evening. Whether he does or [...]