US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has killed a group of Korean students in a vicious gun and grenade attack on a Chicago Korean barbeque establishment, according to the State Department.

The attempted slaughter comes a day after her husband, former President Bill Clinton, completed a historic diplomatic mission to Pyong Yang aimed at freeing jailed journalists and opening dialogue between the US and the would-be nuclear power.

Whilst no official justification has been given for the attack, it is clear that the mission, carried out using standard issue NATO weapons, had the blessing of the White House.

Questioned about the assault, Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel was quoted saying: “it’s some good cop, bad cop thing the Clintons worked out between them. The President has welcomed their innovative and refreshing approach to diplomacy.”