Glorious leader receives trifling bonus payment from joyous populace
Professor Brendan Drumm, Glorious and Feted leader of the Health Service Executive, has expressed his satisfaction at the small token of gratitude bestowed upon him by the people of Ireland.
Professor Drumm received some €70,000, enough to pay for two nurses, an indication of the esteem in which the revolutionary leader is held by the people. Two nurses, recently relieved of their jobs in one of the many purges initiated by the noble and wise Leader, expressed their deep satisfaction that their recent unemployment has paved the way for the gesture of love for Him.
Speaking at the announcement of the bonus, Professor Drumm described the payment as a tribute to all of the staff of the Health Service Executive, and thanked them all for allowing him to spend the money on things to make him happy and more effective at his job, rather than buying two or three dialysis machines.
Professor Drumm has an important job to do. Unfortunately, his efforts and their outcomes are required to remain secret, in order to protect the public from the inevitable results of their own overwhelming joy at his many achievements.
Press Release Ends For more information go to http://www.HSEOMGWTF.ie
Please note that this is not a real press release but a satire on one. If you didn’t get that, you really ought not be allowed out on your own.