In between goading ‘the Argies’ to ‘have a go if they think they’re hard enough’, Her Majesty called upon her son HRH The Prince of Wales to ‘grow a pair’ and challenge her if he really wants the throne.

Focusing on sport, she spent two minutes making fun of West Ham Utd, expressed her fervent hope that Tyrone would ‘bring Sam home’, and predicted a surprise from Antrim’s hurling team.

She called on all her subjects and citizens across the Commonwealth to ‘try harder not to be shit’, and reminded them that they could pretend to be ‘cheese eating surrender monkeys’ all they wanted, as long as, when the time came to knock some skulls together, we all came together to kick some arse.