London, 1 August 2012
Shameful Tory cuts cost London gardener dear
Milk depleted as fat-cats run riot
‘They may as well have poured it down the drain’ says Balls
Ed Balls, shadow chancellor of the exchequer, has released a broadside against the tory cuts which have cost one London twitter celebrity access to milk. Speaking as he visited yet another school closed for the summer, Ed squarely blamed the Conservative led coalition for the debacle.
‘Just when the coalition should have been spending on money for Chiller’s dairy stockpile, they decided to cut too far, too fast. When they should have been preparing a silver-top for the muesli and latte needs of the people, they poured milk into ill-conceived cornflake bowls and treats for city of london fat-cats.’
Ed pledged to ameliorate the milk situation for the flame haired obsessive tweeter if elected to government.
‘Whilst I cannot be clear what appalling state the nation’s dairy and produce supplies will be in when we consign this tory-led coalition to the history books, you have my word on this – the instincts of the Labour party are to ensure that milk is distributed to those who need it most. We will not let Chiller down.’
Ed spoke after the launch of a think-tank, led by Liam Byrne MP, to investigate milk supplies to Chiller’s house in the future. The group, comprised of peers, MPs, dairy farmers and human rights groups, will report in the spring with recommendations on sustainable, ethical milk supplies.
I have run out of milk. In manner of Louise Mensch, I expect Labour Party to make some sort of statement about this, or lose credibility.
— chiller (@chiller) August 1, 2012